Friendship {Listography 2011}.

  

Each Wednesday, Emily, @ Notorious MLE, Danielle, @ Elleinad Spir, and myself are working our way through the lists of Listography 2011.

  

   

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I thought this week's list would be easy.  Until I sat down to write it.

...List the qualities you look for in a friend.

There's just so many directions that I can take this topic. ~ I have a good friend that is battling breast cancer... A friend that was there for me during morning sickness hell.  Although it was nothing in comparison to what she is experiencing, I appreciate her support during those months more than she will ever know. ~ I have a best friend- that I've been married to for almost 14 years.  One who is non-judgmental, non-competitive, accepting, open-minded, supportive... and willing to help at all times- even if it's something that I slacked on due to writing a blog post, to shopping, spending time with friends... He jumps in and helps without a word of criticism. ~ And I have so many other friends- new and old, IRL and URL, family & non- all who have similar yet distinct qualities that I admire, that I appreciate, that simply make my world bigger, brighter, bolder, and better (yes, I just quoted myself from a past post on "friendship").

And then I remembered a discussion that I recently had with Hailey.  Rather, an ongoing discussion regarding friendship.  Jacob had issues with certain friends.  For a while, he had a hard time even finding friends due to his quiet, reserved nature.  But the topic of friendship was not at the forefront of our day-to-day conversations.  Not like it is with Hailey.  I've been unpleasantly surprised by the amount of drama that occurs- on and off of the playground.  Tears, judgment, control, jealousy, lies, accusations, gossip...  all  of the nasty components of a marriage-gone-south- or even an episode of The Real Housewives.  Her friends are such a central part of her existence- even at this young age, which means that these dilemmas have an impact on her very core.
 
Ridiculous and dramatic as some of the "issues" have been, they've brought to light many discussions of how to choose a friend, and how to be a friend.  After coming home in tears one day, I noticed that she got defensive any time I tried to entertain the option of her choosing to play with new friends.  Although I don't always go there (usually stick with the "how to work it out" approach), I felt that with this particular friend, the time was right.  That would be the end of the world it seemed.  I realize she's young, but I want her to develop the ability to discern who she associates with... not to be exclusive, but at least mindful.  Here's the result of our conversation...

  
Pretty much what my list would look like.  

And you??  Link up your post on friendship below, or share in the comments.  Aside from the fact that I'm extremely interested in this topic, it'll serve as more valuable "lesson material" for my little socialite.

{Next week, on the Listography train, we get to discuss t.v. moms.  Fun.}