A list.

  

Last year [coincidentally, at this very same time… the Monday following the first weekend of December], I wrote a post mentioning how I was trying to stay afloat … FOCUSED {spirited} in spite of the looming cloud of holiday-to-do’s.  Well, it all sorta went downhill from there.  The holiday blur, as I refer to it, hazed right on in- as it does each & every year.  As much as I feel “on top of it” heading into December, it never fails.  A few days in, & the calendar slowly gets swallowed up.  The to-do list mounts at lightning-speed pace.  CHEER is subtly (or blatantly) muted by STRESS.

I’ve been thinking about this… about the holidays... about why this continues to happen and how to End. The. Cycle [before my kids are grown adults for gods sake].  Then Thanksgiving happened.  And it sealed the deal.  “Traditions” need to change.  In spite how it may sound, I really do love this time of year.  There's so much that I cherish… and want to create the space to experience those with my kids… my family… my friends.  But when I reeeeally think about it- in a dead-honest way- for the most part, many of the traditions (must-do activities/events/projects) that are plotted on the calendar fall into the category of obligation… & not necessarily obligation imposed by others, but also by ourselves.  Doing what we do because it’s what we’ve always done.  Doing what is- or what we assume is expected.  Not because it works for us… makes sense… is something that we love.  

Of course, the other “stuff” is sometimes necessary and important.  Obligation is part of life, & is entirely okay!  But I don’t want it to continue taking the place of- or overshadowing what matters to… what works for us.  Because the holidays are then just one big STRESSOR and filled with frustration, exhaustion, and resentment.  And activities that we would otherwise enjoy- look forward to- are instead when-is-this-going-to-be-over-so-I-can-get-back-to-the-LIST.  

Stephanie (who is in the same frame of mind- & who I utterly admire btw :)) had the simple, yet brilliant idea of making a list.  Not a have-to list, but a want-to one.  A 'carefully curated' (as she says) list that includes only [ONLY] those activities/ideas/crafts/foods... that we truly love, that we truly want to be a part of- to create- to experience.  So that when that stress starts to creep its way in... when our auto-pilot say-yes-to-everything-mode turns on... when we begin to feel like we're losing control/focus/spirit... we have something to turn to- to remind us of where we want to be.  To keep {& make time for} what works & simply let go of- or adjust- what does not.  To create space for new.

  

~~~

 

The things I love about the holidays...

• dim lights... white candles... mellow holiday songs
• small get-togethers
• making santa's cookies with the kids
• disneyland
• old-fashioned christmas lights
• packaging treats {red twine... silver bells... metallic sharpies... fancy ribbon}
• "ugly" christmas pajamas
• picking out the just-right tree
• leon
• chipmunks christmas music & mulled cider while we decorate*
• ...mulled wine while we decorate
• eggnog (in all forms inc. but not limited to ice cream, latte, cocktail...)
• homemade christmas cards with the kids (BUT, only if time/circumstances allows)
• cozy scarves... tall boots... all kinds a' sweaters
• family wine country day trip
• christmas day at my mom's
• panetone bread pudding
• grandma's ham
• christmas movies (from yogi's 1st christmas to Edward Scissorhands to Scrooged)
• kisses under the mistletoe
• coffee made by the hands of my children... before they get to open their presents
• cranberry orange vodka

                           
* Notice I did not actually list "decorate the tree."  After 10+ years of marital/parental/sibling discord over how- & how many- the lights are strung, how ornaments are placed (I'll take the blame for being a freak about the lights, but Jacob has a "thing" with how Hailey does [or does not] place the ornaments), how much breakage occurs, ... Let's just say (and I just finished meeting with a group of gals who strongly concur) that the tree-decorating-process brings out our true personalities... the good, the bad, & the ugly.  Hence the NEED for "happy chipmunks tunes & mulled WINE." 
                                    
Make sure you visit my pal Stephanie, and read her list as I am on my way to do the same.  I'm absolutely sure that my list will grow a little longer after I read hers.  She is responsible for last year's new tradition of "Leon" after all  =).