I've alluded to it several times, but I'm just going to come out and say it.  

About a year & a 1/2 ago, I started struggling in my role as a "homemaker."  As I've said before, I have not once regretted my decision to stay at home with my children.  This part not only feels right, & has for the last 5 years.  But for me, for now, it is right.  

As for the "stay-at-home mom" part of the equation, I was fully content.  The problem was with the rest of the *unwritten responsibilities of the role.  If I decide to do something, I want to do it well.  So, 5 yrs. ago, I fully immersed myself into the role... cooking, baking, volunteering, "accounting" (inc. bill-paying, & tight-budgeting), cleaning, trying to make friends with other "soccer/softball/scout/pta moms" (to no huge avail), party-planning, scheduling, organizing, shopping, disciplining, managing homework/chores/family communications/photos...

One of my "hot buttons" is this question:  "Don't you get bored staying at home??  I could never do it."  I'll hold back on my rant of all that this question implies, but really- the answer is NO.  I really don't get bored... or ever- EVER run out of things to do.  My brain is always filled with things to do, places to go, recipes to try, projects to begin.  So, as much as I thought I would (back when I was a busy, "important," working gal), I never go stir-crazy.  

But- long story short- I sort of got lost in the process.  Squeezed myself right outta the equation.  I felt a big hole inside that needed to be filled... I felt disconnected, uninspired, frustrated, exhausted, and simply- empty.  I made a decision to make some big (and small) changes... who I associated (or didn't) with, how I spent my time- or chose not to spend my time... took some classes, learned the art of "simple cooking," got a new computer (& camera!), started a blog- and have spent the past year & a 1/2 taking care of not only my family- but of myself.
Well, in an effort to put myself back into the equation, I've let a few responsibilities slip.  Responsibilities that are important... not because I have to accomplish them, but because I want to.  
  1.  Cleaning.  Really, I'm not a slob- or lazy.  In an effort to not spend every waking hour cleaning, I've become a master picker-upper.  I've remained in "general maintenance" mode, & often get behind on deep cleaning.
  2. Breakfast/Dinner.  I've fallen into pure laziness when it comes to feeding my kids breakfast.  Convenience has taken priority, and it needs to change.  As for dinner... I'm all over the board.  No planning, start too late in the day, sacrifice nutrition for "meals that the kids will actually eat"... This is an element of staying home that I truly value, and I'm determined to fix. it.
  3. After-school snacks.  My kids look forward to this seemingly minor activity.  They used to light up when I put a little more focus on this part of the day- on making it a little special.  Now, their immediate "what are we having for a snack???" questions get on my nerves.  They're only allowed a short window of time before diving into homework... & cleaning their rooms.  If they're stomachs are full- their hearts are a little more content, their tired/grumpy 'after-school attitudes' are diminished, & they have a bit more energy to sustain them through all of that homework
 Along with others, these are areas that I've let go- a little too far for my liking- and I want to commit to changing.  

...which [finally] brings us to this week's tried & true recipe- the simplest, most basic recipe yet.  But when it comes to #3- my lowest-energy time of day- I need simple & basic... & just due to the fact that it's not an orange- or crackers- my kids consider it "special" :).

 {today's after-school snack}

pita pizza
* adapted from the little big book for moms, a vintage-style book I've had ever since I was pregnant with Jacob... a treasure box of inspiration, rhymes, songs, stories, games, & recipes for mothers to share with their children.

makes two small pizzas
1 whole wheat pita round
tomato sauce
broccoli (little pieces)
diced leftover chicken
cheddar cheese, grated

Split pita into two circles.

Spread with tomato sauce.  Sprinkle a little cheese.  Add chicken, then a little bit more cheese.  Add broccoli, and top with a little more cheese.

Put on a cookie sheet and broil until cheese melts.

{and... she liked it!!  he did too :)} 


  1. Torrie, as another mom, i completely appreciate and treasure your honesty. Your words are so refreshing and relatable. No matter where we are in life and what we are doing, I think we all have goals that we are constantly trying achieve all while trying to do what's best for the family. It's easy to lose site of ourselves. Our old selves and new selves. I was just working on a post about balance, so a lot of what you said reminded me of what I'm thinking. Your candidness is one of the reasons, I look forward to stopping by every day! Have a happy day!

  2. Great post T. I think it's all about balance, and the rebalancing, and then again ans again. I seem to always lose parts and then recommit to them, then lose others. And I hate that 'are u bored' question too. There is plenty to do always!

  3. Torrie, great post- and interesting to see your perspective as a SAHM, since I'm not terribly familiar with that. I think goals (and healthy eating) are always important, but it's also good to realize you can't do it all, and to prioritize what you want to spend time on (or not). The single best thing I did this year was find the money in our budget for a bi-monthly housekeeper. It's been a sanity saver since I no longer harass my husband about cleaning, feel bad I don't have time to do the deeper cleaning, or feel like people can't just drop in for dinner or to hang out w/o tons of notice :)

  4. Torrie I really love the honesty of this post. Visiting so many friends last week (all of whom are working) I have thought long and hard about whether I should not have pushed myself to do a few days work through the years - even if it was folding sweaters at Gap. The most galling question is at dinner parties, "What do you do" and I never know how to answer it. Also people asking you about whether you get bored I think is an underhanded way of dismissing what you do. Really great post, I have been thinking a long time about writing something similar...

  5. Wow, Torrie. Let me just say that you deserve a cape, and a magic wand and a crown. You are Super Mom/human being! Seriously, your writing is always so thoughtful and though-provoking and you take such good care of that beautiful family and home. Thank you for sharing your honest struggles and it just makes me happy knowing that you paid attention to your needs a year and half ago and now you're doing it again. Life is a matter of constantly making tiny adjustments and improvements. We're always learning and growing and it sounds like you are doing a bang-up job.

    P.S. Can't imagine ever being bored and I sort of want to smack those people who suggest that to be a possibility.

  6. I can;t imagine being bored! What exactly does bored even look or feel like:) but then again I have a 2 yr old and a 12 week old! Love the pita pizza- perfect for kids.

  7. I feel ya lady...I totally need to get with it when it come to cooking and cleaning. Le sigh.

  8. Wow I dunno how you do it all... AND you blog regularly, amazing. Let's hang out soon please--but of course when/if you have some down time!!

  9. lovely post torrie. (and i think that "snack" qualifies as a future dinner. just sayin'. =) xo

  10. This is so well put. It can be frustrating explaining and living up to others standards/ideas of what we should and shouldnt be doing. That is one thing I am working on lately. Doing what makes me and my family happy. And that may or may not be the laundry :) Thank you for being a constant source of inspiration my friend!

  11. Pita pizza is a staple in my house. So simple and delicious (and not terrible for you!)

  12. love, love, love this friend...I wish we lived closer so we could hang out and be "bored" haha...


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